Why oh why?!

As I've mentioned before,I've been trying to avoid JL as a means of self preservation. Nothing is going on, nothing is happening, he's not even asking me out so I don't think anything is gonna happen. Might as well forget about him and move on. Stop being stupid. Just move on, move on, move on!

Anyways, this is not meant to be a rant about me moving on. I actually wanted to prove how difficult it is to really move on if the guy your trying to forget works with you everyday. What's worst, this afternoon when we had our little get-together, he had to squeeze himself into the room and sit beside me. Why oh why?! Then when I said something to one of our colleagues and they were laughingm he tapped my shoulder and said that's below the belt. He was laughing. Then he whispered to me and asked who's the new staff. It was kind intimate and weird coz at first I didn't understand what he was saying. The torture doesn't end there, he had to get a spoon and get a piece of my cupcake! So we're eating from one plate sharing a cupcake! Why why why!!! It's pure torture! God! Unrequited love sucks! REALLY SUCKS BIG TIME! I want him sooooooo freaking bad! And he looked so cute when he blushed earlier. Darn I'm going crazy! Btw, I kinda flirted with him too thru body language. Crossing my legs and letting him take a small peak at my legs.

I'm proud of myself though coz I didn't do anything extraordinary to feed his ego. I was upset with him in the morning coz he was speaking Tagalog which I dunno where he learned. I hate knowing all these stuff. I'd rather be ignorant. :(